A journey worth remembering (II)


‘Then why are you letting them escape your eyes’ I said pointing to the tear drops rolling down her face.

‘There are some feelings which when not expressed choose this path’, she said pointing to a tear drop lying on her hand.

‘And what are those?’ I asked. She looked at me but didn’t speak.

‘Sometimes conversation is the best remedy Esha’ I further spoke.

‘I feel completely broken after my break up. Three years is a long time. For the last three years everything was fine between us. People say trust is the foundation of relationship. We had that between us. I was honest to him for the entire time’, she said in one stretch.

‘If everything was good then what happened?’ I asked.

She was unable to fight back her tears. She took a minute before speaking.

‘I feel like everything has come to an end. I often find myself staring blankly at sky, looking at the stars which just remind me every bit of last three years.’

‘Do you know why you are having such feelings?’ I asked looking in her eyes but spoke again answering me, ‘because for the last three years you didn’t think much about you and just submitted yourself to him.’

She frowned; I wondered if I crossed the limits.

Then she spoke thinking, ‘Yes, I submitted me to him, though he never did anything like that. When he wanted to go on trekking but I had my exams he went alone. He wanted to become an artist he became.’

‘But why you pushed your dreams deep inside your heart and never dared to face life?’ I asked.

‘Being born in a conservative family there was boundaries to everything. My brother accompanied me everywhere I have to go. When I committed to him, he was more insecure than my family; he never let me go alone. In the beginning I felt good to see how caring he is, but now I think that was the foundation of my fear. Fear to face life.’

There was a silence for a moment. The only sound was of the moving bus. The co-passengers slept long ago.

Then again she spoke in a determined voice, ‘but now I have decided to end my fear. I remember how badly I wanted to pursue my passion of singing three years ago. My desires of travelling alone which are trapped in the cage of insecurity of first parents then him are now rebelling to break that cage.’

‘Life is too short to waste in depression, don’t hand over your keys to happiness to someone who doesn’t deserve them. It’s your life don’t let another person control it. Fulfill your desires if you have any’, I said.

My destination was about to come. As the first light of the dawn hit the surface of earth and the chirruping of birds began I looked at her. Her eyes were gleaming with hope.

An hour passed and I reached my destination. We shared contacts and I left.

One month passed. I was busy with my life, but not even for a moment I forgot her.

Then one fine morning I received an e-mail, Esha Gupta it said. I read it with a smile that automatically came to my face.

I booked a ticket to Goa. I have heard that the city established by Portuguese is way too different from rest of the India. People can eat, wear and walk in any manner they want with no eyes on them. I visited many places there alone. During that time, my fear was with me like a shadow but didn’t dare to scare me.

My return to my city is a new beginning. I am feeling independent; I learned to steal moments from life to make me happy.

I clearly remember what inspired me to change. I thank you for the change you brought in me. That journey was the turning point of my life. I don’t want to see what is before that. I left past where it belongs.”

I smiled more.


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